| Broken silence. |
[28 Jul 2005|02:37am] |
周惠 - 事到如今
你给过我的承诺 我相信最后只是力不从心
想要的终究太多 忘记了爱情没有回头余地
捉不住情人们憧憬的甜蜜 找不回朋友间有过的默契
我们太急着催促幸福前进 结果却是缘分被掏进
事到如今 到如今 再说什么还有什么意义
而你的深情的表情 看在我眼里多么的痛心
早知道爱情 爱情 让你我连友情都难再续
我宁可认命就相信 当初对你有模糊的爱情 是因为孤寂
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| when an existence transcends beyond physical presence |
[28 Jul 2005|01:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Gabrielle - Out of reach |
] |
By feeling, only then so, I'll feel alive.
A silence, shattered.
A momentum, broken.
A dawning, though not preferred.
An understanding, yes I do.
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| no more. |
[23 Jul 2005|04:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crying |
] |
Someone without beliefs is like a person without values
who couldn't differentiate right and wrong
who wouldn't bother so much about what should and what shouldn't be done
faith is put, only to lead you up the road of disillusion
only to make you handle more injustice
tried
yearned, never knew such deepness
who couldn't bear to see me upset?
who said he liked to see me smile?
who said he couldn't imagine being without me?
who doesn't know i'm hurting?
i taught i knew everything
i'm not so sure anymore
failure seems to make you look like a joke
putting in efforts, only to be left with wounds
which person ever said prayers would be heard?
which person ever said they would be answered?
i cannot bring myself to believe anymore.
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| For you. |
[21 Jul 2005|02:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crying |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mariah Carey - Can't let go |
] |
For the smiles I could not brighten up your day with
For the support I could not provide
For the whispers you could not hear
For the prayers you would not know
For the distance between us
I still wish you're doing fine.
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| But the heart's not good at holding back. |
[16 Jul 2005|12:46am] |
| [ |
music |
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Madonna - I'll remember |
] |
The most significant thing he had wanted to let me know was that he'll always be there for me when I need him.
One sentence, yet held so much weight.
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| Won't you come out from the colors of the night? |
[10 Jul 2005|03:35pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Daryl Hall & John Oates - And that's what hurts |
] |
This thing called Hope
at certain times, it can be a life-saver
at other times, it is a motivator
at the wrong time, it has the ability to kill too.
how do you determine its position?
it can't stay forever.
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| Piercing silence. |
[01 Jul 2005|05:58pm] |
The most deafening sound isn't quietness.
It's silence from someone you hold in your heart.
You ain't entitled to ask why.
And it is something that you, or anyone else, has to learn to deal with.
On your own.
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| 放不下的一段情, 会被人笑是傻 |
[24 Jun 2005|04:31am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Chicago - If you leave me now |
] |
There must be a basis somewhere and I think I've got it figured out. Almost every negative thing that happened in my life had to do with that reason. Though every theory would tell you that no other person's words nor actions should affect your level of self-confidence, more often than not, ours is hinged on all the minor and major experiences in life.
Each time I want to write something, I think twice about what to type. I think twice about making it a locked entry or a public one. Seriously, I've lost track of who's reading. I think about how others would be affected by the things I write. I think about counter-effects. A long time ago, I had some conflicts with this person. When he comes online, I would set my messenger status to being perpetually away or busy. Avoidance on purpose. When I was asked for the reason by a mutual friend, I answered that so neither of us would feel awkward being present at the same time in the virtual space yet not communicating. She commented that I took into consideration so much about the other party's feelings, when she would not bother if she was me. Something similar is happening again, and affecting my writing as well, to the extent that I'll rather hide than let out any emotion, feeling or thought, as if they do not exist, than risk affecting another, to the extent that writing becomes a hassle, with me feeling irritated why I have to be so restrained. When my girlfriend asked me why do I keep thinking for him, I was lost for an answer. And she asked how do I feel. Then, she reminded me that writing is for myself, something that seemed to slip my mind when I became too focussed on himhimhim everyone else but myself. If anyone can't take it, don't come here. It is not my responsibility to handle everyone's reactions.
When it comes to actions, usually, the heart takes precedence over the mind. The primary reason is simply because I just wanna do it. Any after-effect is considered secondary to me; the possible consequences will not strike me as quickly as the desire to fulfil the primary reason. I might be able to apply this theory to writing, but well, not actions on impulse.
Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
"And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is"
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| 我很执着，但我真心爱过 |
[22 Jun 2005|12:35am] |
| [ |
music |
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Everything but the girl - I don't wanna talk about it |
] |
Even if I have not succeeded yet in being less persistent about differentiating what is good and what is bad,
At least I'm very sure I know the difference between right and wrong.
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| vague and vivid. what lies beneath? |
[21 Jun 2005|12:48am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bellefire - Can't cry hard enough |
] |
I awoke,
got reminded of your kisses
smiled,
the joy for what was once shared
wept,
for the distance now
that anger, that pain
that last letter, that last calling
that disappointment
the space
all that's left.
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[18 Jun 2005|05:18am] |
| [ |
music |
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William So - Jiu ai hai shi zui mei |
] |
有时分手不是谁负了谁，
而是两个对的人，
在错的时候，
爱了一回。
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| I only explain to the significant. |
[17 Jun 2005|03:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relaxed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Maria McKee - Show me heaven |
] |
Got into a debating mood and discussed something mind-boggling with a few friends seperately while I tried to shake off a persistent notion. Stereotyping irritates the shit outta me.
Why do people like to ask who is the dumper and who is the dumpee when a break-up occurs? Does it matter? The only two involved have already came to terms with an outcome.
Do you think the one who accepted a breakup (the one who got dumped) would surely be unworthy of love? That there must be something wrong about him/her or did something bad, because if he/she is that wonderful, his/her partner wouldn't have let go of him/her? Or do you empathise with him/her and believe the fault is definitely with the other party?
Do you think the one who initiated a break-up would surely be the better person? Or do you think he/she must be a jerk or an asshole or a bitch? Do you think he/she surely must be devoid of feelings and emotions, and heck, has no right to feel any form of pain? Do you think he/she would always have it easier than the one who has to accept his/her decision?
What makes you think you must be right?
Who gave you the right to judge?
Who ever said you are allowed to make your own conclusion based on your perceived understanding of the people involved?
It's past, it's history, and the history doesn't belong to you.
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