s u m m e r . l o v e

Off to a brand new start.

2005-07-31T17:27:54Z

Dear friends,

I have shifted.
Feel free to add me back at

http://www.livejournal.com/~sweetam0r

if you want.
Thank you.

".. take it, keep it inside a box, seal it up, don't let anything ruin it"

2005-07-28T05:38:40Z

It was a promise.

You don't need to say a word, I know everything you're saying.

2005-07-28T04:40:41Z

Conversations need not be direct or face-to-face.
A silent conversation can take place, and only the people involved would see and understand the messages.

Broken silence.

2005-07-27T18:42:01Z

周惠 - 事到如今
你给过我的承诺我相信最后只是力不从心
想要的终究太多忘记了爱情没有回头余地
捉不住情人们憧憬的甜蜜找不回朋友间有过的默契
我们太急着催促幸福前进结果却是缘分被掏进

事到如今到如今再说什么还有什么意义
而你的深情的表情看在我眼里多么的痛心
早知道爱情爱情让你我连友情都难再续
我宁可认命就相信当初对你有模糊的爱情是因为孤寂

when an existence transcends beyond physical presence

2005-07-27T18:22:23Z

By feeling, only then so, I'll feel alive.

A silence, shattered.
A momentum, broken.
A dawning, though not preferred.
An understanding, yes I do.

no more.

2005-07-23T08:34:57Z

Someone without beliefs is like a person without values
who couldn't differentiate right and wrong
who wouldn't bother so much about what should and what shouldn't be done

faith is put, only to lead you up the road of disillusion
only to make you handle more injustice
tried
yearned, never knew such deepness
who couldn't bear to see me upset?
who said he liked to see me smile?
who said he couldn't imagine being without me?
who doesn't know i'm hurting?
i taught i knew everything
i'm not so sure anymore
failure seems to make you look like a joke
putting in efforts, only to be left with wounds

which person ever said prayers would be heard?
which person ever said they would be answered?
i cannot bring myself to believe anymore.

For you.

2005-07-20T18:27:52Z

For the smiles I could not brighten up your day with
For the support I could not provide
For the whispers you could not hear
For the prayers you would not know
For the distance between us

I still wish you're doing fine.

If you put someone to the back of the mind for a long time, does he go away eventually?

2005-07-19T16:07:21Z

Been wondering, just what exactly is the most important thing to an individual? If all energies are focussed on that, everything else seemed so much less-important.

A story, I couldn't bear to end.

2005-07-18T14:34:44Z

Bits and pieces become the remnants of a disenchanted dream.

But the heart's not good at holding back.

2005-07-15T17:10:36Z

The most significant thing he had wanted to let me know was that he'll always be there for me when I need him.
One sentence, yet held so much weight.

Won't you come out from the colors of the night?

2005-07-10T07:36:18Z

This thing called Hope
at certain times, it can be a life-saver
at other times, it is a motivator
at the wrong time, it has the ability to kill too.
how do you determine its position?
it can't stay forever.

Whether you know me in person or from the blogosphere, you're welcome to leave a comment.

2005-07-01T16:36:25Z

Please leave me a word which you think best describes me.

Just one word!

Piercing silence.

2005-07-01T10:04:12Z

The most deafening sound isn't quietness.
It's silence from someone you hold in your heart.
You ain't entitled to ask why.
And it is something that you, or anyone else, has to learn to deal with.
On your own.

Can you use up all the love you can have for someone?

2005-06-27T06:24:17Z

每个人一生中会遇见自己最心爱的人
那种感觉谁也不能代替
遇见了那个人是不是从此就失去了爱别人的能力？

思念你只剩下疲惫

放不下的一段情, 会被人笑是傻

2005-06-23T20:34:06Z

There must be a basis somewhere and I think I've got it figured out. Almost every negative thing that happened in my life had to do with that reason. Though every theory would tell you that no other person's words nor actions should affect your level of self-confidence, more often than not, ours is hinged on all the minor and major experiences in life.

Each time I want to write something, I think twice about what to type. I think twice about making it a locked entry or a public one. Seriously, I've lost track of who's reading. I think about how others would be affected by the things I write. I think about counter-effects. A long time ago, I had some conflicts with this person. When he comes online, I would set my messenger status to being perpetually away or busy. Avoidance on purpose. When I was asked for the reason by a mutual friend, I answered that so neither of us would feel awkward being present at the same time in the virtual space yet not communicating. She commented that I took into consideration so much about the other party's feelings, when she would not bother if she was me. Something similar is happening again, and affecting my writing as well, to the extent that I'll rather hide than let out any emotion, feeling or thought, as if they do not exist, than risk affecting another, to the extent that writing becomes a hassle, with me feeling irritated why I have to be so restrained. When my girlfriend asked me why do I keep thinking for him, I was lost for an answer. And she asked how do I feel. Then, she reminded me that writing is for myself, something that seemed to slip my mind when I became too focussed on ~~himhimhim~~ everyone else but myself. If anyone can't take it, don't come here. It is not my responsibility to handle everyone's reactions.

When it comes to actions, usually, the heart takes precedence over the mind. The primary reason is simply because I just wanna do it. Any after-effect is considered secondary to me; the possible consequences will not strike me as quickly as the desire to fulfil the primary reason. I might be able to apply this theory to writing, but well, not actions on impulse.

Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
"And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is"

我很执着，但我真心爱过

2005-06-21T16:45:18Z

Even if I have not succeeded yet in being less persistent about differentiating what is good and what is bad,

At least I'm very sure I know the difference between right and wrong.

vague and vivid. what lies beneath?

2005-06-20T16:50:38Z

I awoke,
got reminded of your kisses
smiled,
the joy for what was once shared
wept,
for the distance now

that anger, that pain
that last letter, that last calling
that disappointment

the space
all that's left.

Happy endings are just stories that have not finished.

2005-06-19T18:33:19Z

Breaking this last stab of faith would tear me apart.

dust_inthewind @ 2005-06-18T05:18:00

2005-06-17T21:19:45Z

有时分手不是谁负了谁，
而是两个对的人，
在错的时候，
爱了一回。

I only explain to the significant.

2005-06-16T19:00:17Z

Got into a debating mood and discussed something mind-boggling with a few friends seperately while I tried to shake off a persistent notion. Stereotyping irritates the shit outta me.

Why do people like to ask who is the dumper and who is the dumpee when a break-up occurs? Does it matter? The only two involved have already came to terms with an outcome.

Do you think the one who accepted a breakup (the one who got dumped) would surely be unworthy of love? That there must be something wrong about him/her or did something bad, because if he/she is that wonderful, his/her partner wouldn't have let go of him/her? Or do you empathise with him/her and believe the fault is definitely with the other party?

Do you think the one who initiated a break-up would surely be the better person? Or do you think he/she must be a jerk or an asshole or a bitch? Do you think he/she surely must be devoid of feelings and emotions, and heck, has no right to feel any form of pain? Do you think he/she would always have it easier than the one who has to accept his/her decision?

What makes you think you must be right?
Who gave you the right to judge?
Who ever said you are allowed to make your own conclusion based on your perceived understanding of the people involved?

It's past, it's history, and the history doesn't belong to you.

One day

2005-06-14T05:01:47Z

You touched your heart and asked
It tells you it's not bleeding anymore.

Time can erase the most vivid things. No matter what you say.

Seeking. the missed.

2005-06-07T17:23:48Z

Space.
What defines.

Don't cry because it ended. Smile, because it happened.

2005-06-04T07:49:57Z

This silly game of love
You play you win only to lose.

Kinda bitter, this sentence from the song, but I think it speaks the voice of many.
Nonetheless, believe it is better to have loved and lost,
than never have tasted it.
Lalalala.

Think again.

2005-06-03T18:41:53Z

Some might recall me relating this incident before.

A year ago, R & I were waiting for the shutter service back to the cable car tower after the performance at Sentosa's Musical Fountains. It was a public holiday, so there was quite a crowd. The shutter service was late, everyone around was anxious, fearing the cable car's service would be closed soon. The frustration was further aggravated by the warm weather. When it finally came, we proceeded to go up the bus.

Out of nowhere, this man in his 30s (who was still looking pretty fit and agile) cut into my queue, making his wife and a kid go up. R held the handle-bar at the side of the entrance, thereby effectively blocking the man himself. I could sense trouble-a-coming. Indeed. The man came to sit beside us at the last row of the bus, seething with rage, saying if the 'brothers' under him saw the way R blocked him, there would be no place for his pride. The man was fierce, spewing vulgarities, pointing his middle finger, challenging R that he would wait at the cable car tower. I was indignant at the rude tone and language of the man, and was tempted to give him a piece of my mind myself, but I chose to keep quiet first, letting the men settle it. R, in lieu of my safety, chose to remain unbelievably calm, when he could have easily given a punch to the man in self-defence (the man was already threatening to turn violent). R spoke logic to the man, wanting him to put himself in our shoes and think about how he would feel if others cut into his queue unreasonably, and blah blah. After some time, the man calmed down.

Guess what? He apologized to R, then apologized to me.

Moral of the story and a lesson to learn? Life is always about choices. Having an ability to insult doesn't mean you would always win an argument. R choosing to keep his cool doesn't mean he thinks the gangster is right or we fear him; he just do not see the need to argue over unneccessary matters. And his choice won him respect. World peace!

Mood has been great lately while I've been busy. There would always be people who would come and go in your life, but some bonds have reached a level that you do not need constant contact to stay close. I do like to think that I've been pretty fortunate when it comes to making friends, because the ones that I've met are nice and easygoing. There's no hidden agendas, no politics, everyone just gets along. Some chemistries need not be explained, like how my best friend and I cracked ourselves up discussing shallow topics today, such as..

Facial blotters and lip-glosses! Whahaha.

Once in a while, we just like to act bimbotic. :)

So the one guilty of her own acts has spoken up.

2005-06-02T07:23:06Z

Say what you want. I do not care.